if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
