If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
