Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
