I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
