kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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