i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
