If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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