What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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