i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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