Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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