Duck Duck Cougar?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize