so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
