Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
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So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
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Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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