I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
im holly from the hills drunk
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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