he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
