Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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