Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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