I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
