I love black thongs
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
