when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
