God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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