my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
