There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize