I want to stick my p in your. b.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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