You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
