Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
