I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I miss vodka workout Fridays
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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