So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
