I wish I could teleport
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
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And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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