She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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