wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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