i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
