Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I've blown a few things in my day
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
