What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
