my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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