dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
