just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
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