I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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