Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
