grandma shit on top of the toilet
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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