her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
