so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
