Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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