Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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