I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I want a musical about memes.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
