dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just want nice things and good sex
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
