booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Is it because I queefed?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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