she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
