So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
