After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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