Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
