I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
His nipple licking is glorious
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