dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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