Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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