I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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