Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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